i already answered this in facebook. except i want to do this again at 2:28AM. i want to write and there is nothing in particular on my mind. this is the perfect moment for stream of consciousness thoughts. nobody seems to read my blogspot anymore, so i can be as candid as i can be, right? i just hope i can catch the cross-post in multiply before any one else does. or maybe nothing too embarassing will come out of this.
so here goes:
1. my room is almost back to the mess that it was a couple of entries ago. i could have cleaned my room today except i was too lazy and indulged myself with a lizzie maguire marathon. i'm still waiting for the episode when lizzie and gordo finally discover they like each other. and oh, sylar was guest in one of the episodes.
2. i sometimes wish i can take home a merit or distinction written on my diploma. except the desire to relax and enjoy life as a student overpowers that desire. besides, there are smarter and more diligent people out there that deserve such an addendum to their diplomas than i do. seriously.
3. i am getting more and more excited with the prospect of seeing jan soon. i pray to god that his visa application get approved.
4. i worry a lot about my financial capability to have a family. but in my heart i know god and i and jan will work together on this. di niya ako pababayaan. i am sure of that. and neither will jan. but i still worry.
5. i dream of seeing as much of the world as i can. there are so many opportunities right now except i do not have the financial capability.
6. as much as it would be fun to be a single person here in the ISS and get a chance to meet and date people, i really don't mind having come here as married. i am in a way scared of how wild i can get without the commitment.
7. i don't drink. i don't smoke. i don't do weed. but i have tried them all here. i really don't think i'm missing on anything. i prefer the natural high of just being myself and enjoying every moment sober and aware. i do enjoy seeing other people having fun that way... it's always nice seeing people enjoy themselves. as always, each to his own.
8. i have a fascination with friday the 13th.
9. i really honestly believe in God and his goodness. i think faith is a good thing to have. it doesn't hurt to believe in something outside yourself. it actually makes life worth living. some say more bearable, but life is not something to bear with but something to live for.
10. i believe that life is good. you just have to believe it and it will happen. it's all a matter of perspective.
11. i wish people believed in goodness more. if each person did, then the whole world will be much better.
12. last thursday's paulo freire reading on pedagogy of the oppressed affected me personally. thank God for jesuit education and liberation theology that i feel obliged to do as much as i can for the greater good. if i die, i know i did as much as i could to be good. i like being good, i just realized now.
13. i am so addicted to facebook and blogs. i hardly read news sites. i mostly frequent fb, multiply, friends' blogs, postsecret and neil gaiman's journal. and plurk. and those can already waste my time so much.
14. i still wonder why i am in social development work. i don't know the great social scientists. even marx, i still don't have a total grasp of what he is trying to say. but maybe the world needs more people who think with their hearts because there are already a lot of people thinking with their brains.
15. jologs ako. i love being baduy. i thrive on star cinema chick flicks. i'm a fan of john lloyd and bea, judy ann and piolo love teams. john lloyd and sarah geronimo ain't bad either.
16. i cry so easily. i cry when people win reality shows i like like american idol, america's next top model and if the winner of project runway cries. if s/he doesn't, i'm just happy. i like it when people win. though i hope i win in their place.
17. i have a crush on jamal's older brother, salim, in slumdog millionaire. i find him bad boy sexy.
18. i am thinking i took up so much time for this random things thingie again. and it is making me fall asleep which is good because i want to be sleepy.
19. judy blume was my first favorite author. i have to thank my sister for giving me superfudge when i was ten.
20. i can watch ten things i hate about you over and over. i was sincerely saddened by the loss of heath ledger and hope he wins the oscar for his role as joker.
21. if it is possible, i would want to be a stay-at-home-mom. i would want to be the one to teach my child about life. make sure he keeps his wonder because school sometimes tend to wipe that away.
22. if i were to teach my future children something, that would be to BELIEVE. i know it sounds like an ateneo chant for a uaap game, but i believe in BELIEVE. i think God knows what we want, but he just wants us to figure it out for ourselves before he gives it to us. because if we know we want it, we will take care of it more. but we really, really have to KNOW for sure.
23. i think i may have been a matchmaker in my past life. not matchstick maker, matchmaker. i tend to have a sense of people who would work fine together. or not work fine together. i can say i have good batting average. not perfect, but good.
24. i have a regular prayer. safety and good health of me, my family and jan. if i mention that before i sleep, then that counts as my prayer already. my prayers lately included: safe pregnancy and delivery for rowie (it worked), toni to get pregnant (it worked), safe pregnancy and delivery for toni (it will work) and for joel's peace. i forget to pray for the people of the world. but sometime's i remember to say, please take care of all your people. so i hope that counts.
25. best gifts of my life: my family, lhc, jvp (mindoro and bukidnon), ateneo, jan, iss/nfp scholarship. major turning points of my life. people and places and events that made me and is making me who i am.
because i got the book at the same time that i was doing a major paper for school, i ended up finishing it more than a week. but i know i could have finished it in one sitting if i had the luxury of time and not just snatches.
