not a sleepyhead

since i got back in netherlands, my sleeping pattern kinda normalized. sleeping between 12 and 1, waking up between 730 and 9. it feels good actually.

but tonight, or this morning, i'm back to restlessness at 2 in the morning. i want to go to sleep. but i couldn't bring my body to lie down.

was it because i actually started doing something for my paper? i doubt it. it's hardly a breakthrough. but at least it's a baby step.

i miss home. i really do. not the philippines itself, but home.

it's true what they say. leaving the second time is much harder, more gut-wrenching. the first time i got here, i was so excited. taking in anything and everything. i wanted to go out and see as much of it as i can. i usually just think about jan during lull times in the day.

but now, i think about my home most of the time. 10 weeks of hardly being apart can do that to you. the four days that i was away during those 10 weeks was spent with my family so that was also a very busy time. but most days, we were just together. eating together, working (or not working, in my case) together.


i hate being a mush ball. but sleep deprivation can do that to you, i guess.

and when i watch Up again, i am probably going to cry buckets not just because of the story but because of so many things.

i want my home. :(