sleepless in den haag

the sandman may have forgetten to pass by the ISS for the last few days. many of the students have been suffereing from the lack of sleep lately for various reasons. the cause of my sleeplessness has been a reuniting with dorm room internet. i'm starting to think this may not be a good idea after all. i've been indulging in my guilty pleasure of brainless reality tv for the past week.

however, tonight is a different reason for me. my mind is so alive right now. it often happens when the moon is full, because i am the moon's fool. she's toying with my thoughts, whispering sweet nothings.

tonight luna tells me, "i let you taste some of your dreams. relish it. be free."

and i do feel as free as the bird from that photo i took on a nine o'clock setting sun during my first weeks in the netherlands. and i do feel that i am having a taste of my silly little girl dreams now that i am here.

silly little girl dreams like wearing coats and boots and sweaters which would have been crazy to do back at home (but i do miss wearing flip-flops to anywhere). silly little girl dreams like seeing europe and discovering if it is as pretty as i see in the pictures and read in the books (it is but it has made me appreciate home more). silly little girl dreams like seeing what autumn is all about, and walkin on a pile of fallen yellow and orange leaves and seeing trees die a little each day knowing they are just asleep and are waking up in a few months (but i miss the regularity of sun up and sun down).

dreams can come true not necessarily in ways you imagine it to be.

there are the realities that pinch once in a while. cleaning the room, doing laundry, cooking meals. things that aren't going to happen by themselves. there are days i hate it terribly, and there are the days when i just grin to myself and realize... "dang... independence, you taste a bit funny sometimes!"

there are the realities that actually bite you hard. readings, papers, exams. and i would go, "oh yeah... that's what i came here for. better do those things too."

then there are life's little surprises. if you are just open enough, it can be quite beautiful.

maybe it is premature to say it only two and a half months into the program, but i have been constantly amazed by the people in the school. the multicultural set-up makes ISS doubly exciting. there is so much to learn and discover just by talking to people! that's not even talking about classes yet. i am always genuinely excited to engage with people everyday.

i love the mix of the pinoys i am with. we are as surprised as everybody else at how well our sisterhood (sorry boys, we outnumber you!) is.

i love the other friends i already have made and wish to get to know them better. this is the kind of globalization the rest of the world needs! to remain steadfastly faithful and in-love with who we are, yet embracing the Otherness of the others.

i can not ask for a better way to discover the world.

i feel so blessed right now. :)

(but then it would be absolutely perfect to have my husband here too. my quiet, stoic jan to offset all the restless energy i have right now. LOL.)