howard was right

when studying, don't have pictures on your table.

there weren't any pictures on my table, but there are photos on facebook. i reviewed some photos from the philippines... and boy, was that a bad idea. apart from taking time from studying (which has been terribly neglected since the beginning of term 1b), it made me miss people at home, especially jan.

i really don't want to go to the path of longing for home. i am still constantly excited by the thought of being in europe, of fulfilling this lifelong dream. this morning, i took an hour going home from church because i decided to take a detour by the lake and boy, was autumn beautiful! the shower of leaves was absolutely magical and charming. i would never had experienced such a moment in the peens... but it would have been more magical to have my husband with me at that moment...

i've been experiencing so much and doing so much here in europe. and so much of it can not be captured by words or pictures, no matter how i try. i feel like a grown-up and a child at the same time. so it makes it difficult to share with jan and i don't want him missing out on my pruning and growing... neither do i want to miss out on his.

the weekly revelries at the ISS are always enjoyable, but like all parties... it leaves me feeling empty when i go back to my room on my own. i should have had jan with me... and seeing and hearing about the exciting things happening makes me miss him more, wishing for him more and more.

sigh.

i do not feel lonely. not at all. i am glad that the pinoy mafia enjoy each other's company, enough for us to keep (in)sane from all the emotional stimulus we are all experiencing.

it could be the weather really... because the thoughts of home come more frequent now. while i enjoy winter dressing, i have always been a tropics lady who enjoys the sun kissing her skin. and every day has been getting colder and colder that my skin sometimes gets numb. and maybe that's why the emotions are stirred more. it calls for warmth that the body does not get. and i mean that warm fuzzy feeling... lol.

sigh.