random thoughts

there is this thirst within me in which i seek to have a deeper experience of Lent for this year. i am doubtful of my capacity for self-reflection. evidence to which is how little i have blogged for the past year. blogging has always been space for thoughts, no matter how mundane or philosophical. and to not have much chronicled makes me feel that i have not done much. which, on the contrary, is not the case since life can get interesting on some occasions.

today is ash wednesday, the beginning of Lent. a perfect and opportune time to once again reflect on how one has lived his Christianity. i am uncertain how i have practiced it, though i am certain there is much to improve. and yet, while persons on the pulpit would challenge us to go beyond sinfulness and work towards divinity... i also find comfort in the fact in my humanity. there is nothing to be shameful in being human but i sometimes think, the best part of it is realizing our potential for divinity and not achieving divinity itself.

going back to blogging, i do find it a pity that i do not have the same passion for writing as i did before. especially when i look back at old entries and find myself occasionally sensible, more often silly. which is nothing to be embarrassed about. like i said, there is much to be joyful about in realizing one's humanity. i look back and see myself beautiful in my joy, beautiful in my sadness, beautiful in my faults. not a vain kind of beauty but rather an understanding of my frailty and trying to overcome it. and despite my constant struggle for spirituality, i sense that much of my beauty is having faith that i am loved by someone greater.