LP 73: Lakad

Maliit pa lang ako, pangarap ko nang mapuntahan ang lungsod ng Athens kung saan diumano ay naglakad ang mga diyos at diyosa ng mitolohiyang Griyego.

Natupad na rin aking pangarap nuong nakaraang Hulyo.

Ang di ko akalain ay mayroon din palang "changing of the guards" katulad ng nagaganap sa tirahan ng reyna ng Britanya sa Athens. Bawat oras ay may palitan ng mga guwardya sa harap ng National Parliament nila.

Naaliw ako dahil kakaiba ang kanilang paglalakad. Para silang nag-e-ehersisyo. O di naman sumasayaw ng mabagal sa musika ni Michael Jackson na "They Don't Really Care About Us." At sino ba naman ang di matutuwa sa pompom sa sapatos ng mga gwardiya o tassle sa likod ng kanilang mga tuhod. At napapaisip ako, "ang init ng suot nila. buti buhay pa sila!"

RIP, Alexis Tioseco

There are just too many good people passing away this year.

This morning, I woke up with my usual routing. Turning on my laptop. Checking facebook and twitter. I found it strange seeing Gang's status with just Alexis Tioseco's name. It was too cryptic, so I looked at the tweets from different online newspapers to see if there was any report about him.

And there it was. He was shot dead in his own home by robbers.

I do not him personally, though I wish I did. But he was part of my mornings in Davao when 'Breakfast' still aired on Studio 23. He would be a weekly (or was it bi-weekly) guest on the show, and he would talk about films. It was interesting how this Ingliserong Amboy from Canada (Amboy, pero Canada? ano yun?! haha! but you know what I mean) had so much passion for the local film industry. Most of the time, he discussed about independent films or old classics that should be revived.

He was clearly an advocate for the film industry as an art. I could sense his frustration when he would talk about lost films of the old greats. It was also interesting how he tackled the issue on National Artists. More than lobbying for Caparas not to receive the award, he was clamoring for the NCCA to actually set aside a budget to educate the people about the arts. So no one can claim that it is for the elite. I did not think of it that way. Such a philosophical, deep thinker.

I came across an article he wrote for Rogue Magazine. It showed how much he loved his girlfriend (who along with him was also murdered) and how much he loved the local film industry. It's a beautiful piece.

And he also wrote a piece about his wishful thinking for Philippine Cinema. This guy is did not just love the film industry, he was in-love with it.

It's sad that such a passionate advocate is gone. And gone the way he did. It is so wrong on so many levels.

I don't know if I have the right to feel this way not having known him. It was also just recently that I got re-acquainted with his work because of the National Artists brouhaha. But I feel I lost my voice with his passing.

Thank you, Alexis Tioseco. I pray that justice will be served.

not a sleepyhead

since i got back in netherlands, my sleeping pattern kinda normalized. sleeping between 12 and 1, waking up between 730 and 9. it feels good actually.

but tonight, or this morning, i'm back to restlessness at 2 in the morning. i want to go to sleep. but i couldn't bring my body to lie down.

was it because i actually started doing something for my paper? i doubt it. it's hardly a breakthrough. but at least it's a baby step.

i miss home. i really do. not the philippines itself, but home.

it's true what they say. leaving the second time is much harder, more gut-wrenching. the first time i got here, i was so excited. taking in anything and everything. i wanted to go out and see as much of it as i can. i usually just think about jan during lull times in the day.

but now, i think about my home most of the time. 10 weeks of hardly being apart can do that to you. the four days that i was away during those 10 weeks was spent with my family so that was also a very busy time. but most days, we were just together. eating together, working (or not working, in my case) together.

sigh.

i hate being a mush ball. but sleep deprivation can do that to you, i guess.

and when i watch Up again, i am probably going to cry buckets not just because of the story but because of so many things.

i want my home. :(

been a while

it has been a while since i posted anything decent in this blog. school and trying not to do school has been keeping me busy. and honestly, i really have nothing in mind to say. oh, there is much in my head for sure. but none of which i can actually blog about meaningfully yet. i have not the words.

anyway, the last few days, i have been looking bact at my old blog. i surprised myself. i did not know i could write so well, if i can just give time to actually think about what i say, if i actually give myself time to reflect. but i have not.

i wish i could say life is happening to me right now. but not really. most of the time, i'm cooped up in my room, surrounded by books i have yet to read, battling thoughts on my research paper, running away using facebook and livestreaming movies.

but i want to blog again. to write again. to free my mind again of thoughts that hardly mean anything, but then i want to say them anyway. maybe just writing nonsense random things will get the mojo back again.

i miss it. i miss writing. i miss writing to share what i see, what i feel. so i'm hoping this is a start.